Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Tired!

That is all I can say right now is I am TIRED! worn out, stressed, in need of a vacation, a mommy's day out, TIRED!!!

It seems like all i have done for almost an entire year is take care of everyone else and i am just worn out. Don't get me wrong, I have loved being able to spend this time helping my parents, but trying to juggle everything like taking care of My Hubby, My Kids, My Parents, taking care of the house, cooking for us and my parents, homeschooling and now running back and forth to Jackson every weekend, leaving on Wednesday or Thursday nights and coming home on Sunday or Monday nights, while in Jackson taking turns with my sisters staying at the hospital with My Mom, coming back to the hotel with no sleep from staying at the hospital and taking care of My kids. I am exhausted!!! The last year and a half of my life has seemed like nothing but hills that i have to pull myself over, Easton being born premature and him being so very sick and not knowing if i was going to get to bring him home, sitting inside with him for 4 months, never leaving my house but to take him to the doctor, wondering every night when i put him to bed if he was going to stop breathing during the night and his machine was going to fail, and just when life starts to get back to normal My Mom getting sick and being so scared that something was going to happen to her, and then running around trying to do everything by myself because it just wasn't convenient for anyone else and i didn't want to waste any time that I could have with My Mom, now i am running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to keep up with everything that needs to be done but yet not being able to concentrate on anything because i am so stressed out and exhausted. I have spent alot of my life caring about other people, making phone calls"just to let you know that i am praying for you" and "that i am here if you need me" and trying to do for others what i would want them to do for me in my time of need. Well, I am TIRED!!!!!! Let's just say that over the last year and a half I have found out who my true friends are and that they are few and far between.

I just needed to get some things off of my chest because if i don't i will probably blowup.

Sorry for the rant. I know that i have alot to be thankful for, Thankful that i DID get to bring My Beautiful Baby Boy home and that staying in for 4 months kept him well and healthy, thankful that My Mom is doing good although she is going through alot of crap right now, Thankful for the few people that have been there through most of this time in my life when i feel like i am barely keeping my head above water, Thankful for my hubby that i can vent too when i need someone to talk too, Thankful for my 3 beautiful happy little boys that can make me smile even when i feel lke crap. But most of all Thankful for My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ that can get me through the rough times in My life and promises me that he is GREATER than all of my little ole' problems, and that he will bring me through.

6 comments:

He & Me + 3 said...

I bet you are tired. YOu have been very busy...take some time to rejuvenate & take care of you too. You need and deserve it.
Get some rest my friend.

Jennifer W. said...

I'm so sorry you have so much to deal with right now. Please let me know what I can do...I can keep the boys one day if you just want to get away for a little while (or nap, or whatever!) Just give me a call. You know we love y'all and are praying constantly.
Jen

The Ranew Family said...

You truly have been going through sooooo much. You are a true picture of a selfless woman of God and although you are so exhausted, God will renew your strength and bless you for all your hard work and taking care of others. You need to take a break for yourself as well sometime in the near future. You can always call me for an ear to listen and I can try to help in anyway I can. Praying for you!!

Kelli @ RTSM said...

First, I am so glad that your mom is doing good! I am sure all the stress will seem like nothing once she is home and cancer free! Second, sometimes all you need to feel better is a good vent! Thanks for sharing how you feeling with us! I know when you are going through a tough time, it feels like no one else understands what you are dealing with! And honestly, they really don't! It is hard for other people to really understand everything you are dealing with...just know that God knows and understands everything! I hope you get a break from the stress soon:)

Leigh said...

Ugh, I wish I lived closer and could just hug your neck, bring you a few meals and hang out with your precious boys so you could take a nap or have a date night with your hubby. Praying for rest for you and strength and healing for your mom!

Alicia said...

Oh Konnie...it's okay to vent. I think that we all get to that point where we have to let it all out. The most important thing is that you have Jesus, and He cares for you more than anyone else, and He is your greatest comforter!!

HUGS!