Wednesday, October 19, 2011

"It is Well with My Soul"

Wow! Where do I even start?
This has been the craziest hardest year of my life. I have been in MIA for a very long time but I have tried to keep up with reading your blogs every few weeks when I get a few minutes to sit. But I will try to explain what all has been going on in our life, so here it goes.
We started off the year on a good foot or so we thought, but we stayed so busy with raising our 3 boys and homeschooling and taking care of my Parents, (for those who don't know, my Mom was diagnosed with Bone Marrow Cancer in January 2009, )well anyway, I had been doing most of the cooking and cleaning for my parents and then My Mom started doing better and was able to do alot of that stuff on her own, and she had a good friend that started helping by taking her to the doctor for me so that I didn't have to drag my 3 boys to the cancer center 2-3 days a week, well anyway, skipping ahead to July of this year, everything seemed to be going ok, we had a great 4th of July celebration and birthday party for my Dad at my Parents house, little did we know that our world was about to turn completely upside down. On Thursday July 7th, I had called to check on my Mom because she had not been feeling well that week, and my Dad said that she had been asleep most of the day so I went over (next door) and didn't like what I saw, with the way she was acting, she wasn't alert and I just had a really bad feeling so I called my siblings and told them that I was taking Mom to the ER, we called her Oncologist and told them we were on our way, we got to the hospital and that's when life as we had always known it changed, you see after alot of test and blood work the ER doctor came in to give us the bad news that My Mom was in renal failure and that they would consult with her Oncologist on friday to see what the next step would be, we were all in shock, since we were thinking that maybe she had a kidney infection or her meds were just not working right. So, on Friday July 8, My little man Easton's 3rd birthday, we found out that Mom's kidney's were not working at all and that she would have to start dialysis, she was in the hospital for 15 days and was released to come home but would continue to go to dialysis 3 days and week Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. She came home on Friday July 22, and things seemed to go down hill from there, she became more and more weak and slept more but we knew that was a side effect of the dialysis but she was only home for 11 days and on August 2, she had to go back into the hospital, except this time she wouldn't get to come home. Things started getting worse, she started getting infection after infection, she would sleep most of her days away and when she was awake she was so weak that she couldn't talk to you, but I am grateful that I was able to be with her every day during her last hospital stay even though most of my time there with her was watching her sleep.
27 long days and nights after she went into the hospital, on Sunday August 28, 2011 at 3:15pm My Precious Momma went Home to be with her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I am so Thankful that I was there with her that day and got to hold her hand and tell her that I love her when she took her last breath. I will never forget that day, it is forever sketched into my memory, the look on her face, the way she looked at me, the way she looked at my Dad and my 3 Sweet baby boys, the way she squeezed my hand when I told her I loved her, Every detail! But most of all I remember how at peace she was, she had fought a Long hard battle and she Won! You see, She beat us all there, she is Healed and doesn't have to be worn out from dialysis anymore or doesn't have to be poked on or doesn't have to have anymore of that awful chemo or radiation, because SHE IS HEALED!
I miss her more than you can even imagine, she was my best friend, the only Grandmother to my children and my Hero! There are days when it is completely unbearable, and then there are days that I am so happy for her and so jealous that she is sitting at Jesus feet. Some days it is hard to even get out of bed, because I know that I will not be able to see or talk to her, to hear her give me advice, or to see her hug and kiss my babies, to know that Easton may not even really remember her, but I know that one day we are going to have 1 AMAZING homecoming when we all get to Heaven!
My Mom's love for her Lord was Amazing, through all that she went through she never doubted him, she always had a smile on her face and no matter who came in her room she always shared her God with you. My Mom always kept a journal and would write everyday, but 1 entry in her journal that stands out to me the most and touches me the most is on January 6th 2009, the day she was given the awful life changing news by her Doctor that she had Multiple Myeloma Cancer, she wrote that evening in her journal an entry about how God would use her to reach others through this awful disease and she ended that entry with "It is Well with My Soul"!


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